: On February 8, the National Academy of Recording Arts & Sciences will host the 51st annual Grammy Awards
, a glitzy ceremony with a long, proud tradition of bloated asininity. (Our predictions: Bono will invoke the Clash and/or Nelson Mandela; Carlos Santana will perform wearing the same fedora he's had since 1973.) Sure, this year's nods to M.I.A. and Radiohead were savvy, but the Grammys are just begging to be replaced by an awards program that means something for those of us who listen to music via blogs, videogames, and lunch-break YouTube blitzes (in other words, almost everybody). Without further ado, we present Wired's first annual Rippy Awards, named in honor of ripping—the way we set music free. (We wanted to call it the Whammys, but Andrew Ridgeley has been sitting on that name for years.)
Fiona Apple Award for Most iPod-Vexing Album Title
Marnie Stern, This Is It and I Am It and You Are It and So Is That and He Is It and She Is It and It Is It and That Is That
: Detroit Octane, "Barack Obama-sistible"
Amy Poehler, "Sarah Palin Rap"
Sarah Silverman, "I'm F**king Matt Damon"
Mitt Romney (feat. a group of confused-looking ****agers), "Who Let the Dogs Out"
: Estelle, "American Boy" (Will.i.am's "Impatient")
Girl Talk, "Play Your Part (Pt. One)" (Temple of the Dog's "Hunger Strike")
T.I., "Whatever You Like" (Rocky II
Wale, "The Opening Title Sequence" (Seinfeld theme)
: T.I. & Jay-Z, "Swagga Like Us"
Bun B & Rich Boy, "Paper Planes (Diplo Street Remix)"
Orphan montage in Slumdog Millionaire
The Pineapple Express trailer
: "I'm typing so ****ing hard I might break my ****ing Mac book Air!!!!!!!!"
"You know what, **** you and the whole ****ing staff!!!"
"I ****ING HATE THIS COVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"Soulja boy ... is actually the true meaning of what hip hop is sposed to be"
: Fall Out Boy, CitizenFOB Mixtape: Welcome to the New Administration
Santogold, Top Ranking: A Diplo Dub
Nine Inch Nails, The Slip
Wait, aren't they all free?
: Kanye West, 808s and Heartbreak
Metallica, Death Magnetic
Lil Wayne, Tha Carter III
Guns N' Roses, Chinese Democracy
: Whitesnake, Good to Be Bad
Fergie, The Dutchess: Deluxe
Joe Satriani, Professor Satchafunkilus and the Musterion of Rock
Vanilla Ice, Vanilla Ice Is Back!
: 30 Seconds to Mars, "The Kill"
Grateful Dead, "Casey Jones"
The Monkees, "Last Train to Clarksville"
Jimmy Buffett, "Cheeseburger in Paradise"
: Taylor Swift, "My Cat Snores"
Moby, "Here are some pictures of a chimp who has adopted a white tiger cub."
Lily Allen, "...ummmmmm, hmmmmmmm, burger"
Brian May, "We Will, We Will Barack You!!"
: Bjork, "Wanderlust"
Kanye West, "Champion"
The Rock-afire Explosion, "Love in This Club"
: Bo Diddley
http://feeds2.feedburner.com/~f/wire...eadlines?d=131 http://feeds2.feedburner.com/~f/wire...nes?i=MlQVK5UF http://feeds2.feedburner.com/~f/wire...nes?i=DpHTGP7c http://feeds2.feedburner.com/~f/wired/topheadlines?d=41